Pictures!

I hope this works. Below are some pictures of the finished center. My associate Peace Corps director came out to look at it yesterday and seemed very pleased. Enjoy!

Tchao, my associate Peace Corps director, and Michel

Closing Time

The center is finally finished! It looks amazing. We have working computers, a great conference room, a pretty sign, the whole shebang. Students are using it and Michel is full of fantastic ideas about what he wants to do in terms of programs. Anna, my friend in a neighboring village, actually heard students there talking about it! Everyone sounds really excited. I feel like I’ve done my job and am leaving it in capable hands, which is a really nice feeling to have. Thank you all again for your support, this could not have happened without you.

So, 37 days until I complete my service and leave Togo! Do I end that sentence with an exclamation point? I’m not really sure. I’m excited but leaving is, predictably, bittersweet. Togo has become home over the last couple of years and is familiar, if not completely comfortable. I could say the same for America at this point; it is familiar, but not completely comfortable.

I remember during my first week in country I looked at my schedule of stage (training) and startd to cry. There were many days I was sure I wouldn’t make it through the first 11 weeks, let alone 2 years at my post. It is completely surreal to me that I have actually lived here and done what I set out to do. I kow I should be proud of myself, but right now I’ just kind of shocked. Part of me still feels like I’m back at work in Boston, trying to make the decision to leave everything and everyone and move to Africa. For all that the days dragged by here, the two years absolutely flew.

I am in the process of writing my final reports (so much paperwork!), selling/giving away everything in my house, planning a final dinner with village friends, getting Ayi registered on my ticket to the States, saying goodbye to fellow volunteers…the list goes on. My head is spinning and I tend to hate Togo one day and love it the next. This last month is a lot like ripping of a band-aid very, very slowly. I know leaving is going to hurt, so I wish I could just do it and get it over with. The one overwhelming feeling I have is excitement to see all of you. It will be so good to be home.

Life Happens When You Least Expect It

I can’t believe how terrible I’ve been about blog entries lately. Apologies all around. One of the reasons I haven’t written is because everything that has been happening is deeply personal. While I want to share my experiences here, I needed to find a way to talk about everything, knowing it would end up as public domain!

As most of you already know, I’m in a relationship with a fellow volunteer. Dating someone in the States always requires a period of adjustment, when you learn to balance your friends, your work and the new person in your life. A relationship in Peace Corps tests your ability to do this even more, since there is minimal accountability for your work. Not spending every day in each other’s villages when there’s nothing to stop us from doing so is difficult. Knowing that we have a year of separation in front of us makes it all the more difficult to be apart as well. Fitting into each other’s lives is not like in the States, where we can get together for a drink after work or go catch a movie. Instead, we are two bush taxi rides away from each other, accessible only on our market days. I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve slacked off since I’ve been back from Christmas, and it’s been hard motivating myself to do much since I’m getting so close to the end of my service. This is partly due to my boyfriend and partly due to the fact that I have large choices looming in front of me.

I was accepted into all the grad programs I applied to, and now am faced with a fantastic, albeit stressful, decision. I’m trying to get the most complete picture I can of all the programs, but I find it endlessly frustrating that I can’t pick up the phone and call the admissions offices or hop in the car and see the campuses. Thank goodness for Dad, my personal assistant in the States who has been making endless phone calls for me and for Frankie, who has been listening to me talk in circles, weighing the pros and cons of each program over and over again. On top of this decision, the Peace Corps has started sending us information about our Close of Service conference and what it’s like to be a returned Peace Corps volunteer in the States. People from my training group will be closing service as early as the end of May, and it’s staggering to think about how little time I have left.

So, that’s the frame of mind I’ve been in lately. In terms of Africa-y things, Vogan is good. The center is completely finished and we should be moving the furniture into the building in the next two weeks or so. We had a loooooooooong hold up during January and February due to our carpenter continuously hurting himself at other sites, but everything seems to be under control now. I’m in the process of filling out the final report, and if I see that there is interest from all of you back home who donated, I will be happy to post the final draft online. This past weekend, Frankie and I went to Accra for a couple days, which was really nice. It was fun to see Frankie’s reaction to things like the mall, overpasses, lanes on the road…all of the developed stuff that Togo doesn’t have. He hadn’t been out of Togo since he arrived in June, so he was very excited. We saw some of the historical stuff that I hadn’t seen on my past visits, so that was interesting. We also took in a movie at the new Cineplex, which, although not as educational, was great.

Well. I hope this entry serves to enlighten you all as to why I’ve been MIA lately, although I’m sure most of you already knew. I’m truly happy here as I reach the end of my service. My life seems to be falling into place and falling apart all at once, but I guess that’s the nature of closing service. I’ll write more as I see where the pieces end up.

Back In The Saddle

It has been too long, I know! The truth is, there really hasn’t been that much going on since I got back from the States.

Seeing my family for Christmas was such a gift. Sarah, Kate and my dad met me at the airport, where they heard Azi, my 3-legged cat, before they saw me. I brought him home for a former volunteer and he actually made me miss my flight from Paris. The trip was a total nightmare, but obviously worth it. On the 23^rd, everyone descended on the house, including my sister and her fiancé, my aunt and 2 cousins, my grandparents and my best friend Deborah, who had the important responsibility of “bringing Hanukkah” with her. Christmas day brought the remaining cousins, aunts and uncles, rounding dinner out to 19 people. It was fantastic to see everyone, but I must admit I was pretty overwhelmed for the whole trip. Not to mention, I was FREEZING! The weather was in the 40s almost the whole time but I was uncontrollably cold the whole time. How will I ever readjust to New England winters??!

I got back to Togo on New Year’s Day and really didn’t experience any culture shock. The US really strikes me as stranger than Togo these days. What was extremely difficult was going back to being alone. Anna left on New Year’s to go home for a month, so I came back and found myself relatively lost without her. Luckily, in her absence I made some amazing new friendships with other volunteers, who lifted me up and helped me get through each day until I felt better. I worry about the day I get home and no longer have support from other PCVs. I have been reminded lately that as supportive as all my family and friends are, volunteers understand each other in ways that can’t be equaled. They are the only people who understand the loneliness, the frustration, the moments of clarity of purpose. This past month has reminded me what a unique bond we all share.

On the work front, the center is almost completely done! The painting is finished and the electricity installed. Now we are waiting on the bars for the doors and windows, and once those are installed, we should be ready to move in the furniture and open the doors. I’m really excited to see it all come together, and also have a few months to help make sure everything is running smoothly. My counterpart Michel and I have also started a weekly girls’ group at a local middle school, incorporating French spelling games with small lectures on self-confidence, risky behavior, HIV/AIDS prevention, etc. So far we’ve gotten a lukewarm reception, but hopefully as we gain their trust they’ll start engaging and asking more questions.

It is completely staggering to think that there are only 6 months left of my service. When I talk about work now, suddenly it’s necessary to plan and make sure things can be finished before I leave. Although 6 months is still a big chunk of time, I really feel like I’m on the home stretch, and after so many months of counting down, suddenly that seems scary to me. As for grad schools, I have been accepted to the Fletcher School at Tufts University and am still waiting to hear from American and George Washington. Their decisions should come down sometime in March, at which point I’ll also find out what sort of financial aid package Tufts can offer me. Therefore I feel a little in limbo. I don’t know what I’ll do for sure next year yet, and I can’t make any decisions until March. I like to be able to look ahead, so waiting is a difficult thing for me to do. Fingers crossed!

At the end of this month I’m headed up to Burkina Faso for its film festival in Ouagadougou with my friend Susan. I haven’t been up that far north yet, so I’m sure it will prove to be an adventure. And I hear Ouaga has bowling! Look for another blog post about it next month!