Would You Like That for Here or Togo?

Pictures!

2009-06-12T06:16:00.007-05:00

I hope this works. Below are some pictures of the finished center. My associate Peace Corps director came out to look at it yesterday and seemed very pleased. Enjoy!

Tchao, my associate Peace Corps director, and Michel

Closing Time

2009-05-28T06:06:00.000-05:00

The center is finally finished! It looks amazing. We have working computers, a great conference room, a pretty sign, the whole shebang. Students are using it and Michel is full of fantastic ideas about what he wants to do in terms of programs. Anna, my friend in a neighboring village, actually heard students there talking about it! Everyone sounds really excited. I feel like I’ve done my job and am leaving it in capable hands, which is a really nice feeling to have. Thank you all again for your support, this could not have happened without you.

So, 37 days until I complete my service and leave Togo! Do I end that sentence with an exclamation point? I’m not really sure. I’m excited but leaving is, predictably, bittersweet. Togo has become home over the last couple of years and is familiar, if not completely comfortable. I could say the same for America at this point; it is familiar, but not completely comfortable.

I remember during my first week in country I looked at my schedule of stage (training) and startd to cry. There were many days I was sure I wouldn’t make it through the first 11 weeks, let alone 2 years at my post. It is completely surreal to me that I have actually lived here and done what I set out to do. I kow I should be proud of myself, but right now I’ just kind of shocked. Part of me still feels like I’m back at work in Boston, trying to make the decision to leave everything and everyone and move to Africa. For all that the days dragged by here, the two years absolutely flew.

I am in the process of writing my final reports (so much paperwork!), selling/giving away everything in my house, planning a final dinner with village friends, getting Ayi registered on my ticket to the States, saying goodbye to fellow volunteers…the list goes on. My head is spinning and I tend to hate Togo one day and love it the next. This last month is a lot like ripping of a band-aid very, very slowly. I know leaving is going to hurt, so I wish I could just do it and get it over with. The one overwhelming feeling I have is excitement to see all of you. It will be so good to be home.

Life Happens When You Least Expect It

2009-03-27T05:46:00.000-05:00

I can’t believe how terrible I’ve been about blog entries lately. Apologies all around. One of the reasons I haven’t written is because everything that has been happening is deeply personal. While I want to share my experiences here, I needed to find a way to talk about everything, knowing it would end up as public domain!

As most of you already know, I’m in a relationship with a fellow volunteer. Dating someone in the States always requires a period of adjustment, when you learn to balance your friends, your work and the new person in your life. A relationship in Peace Corps tests your ability to do this even more, since there is minimal accountability for your work. Not spending every day in each other’s villages when there’s nothing to stop us from doing so is difficult. Knowing that we have a year of separation in front of us makes it all the more difficult to be apart as well. Fitting into each other’s lives is not like in the States, where we can get together for a drink after work or go catch a movie. Instead, we are two bush taxi rides away from each other, accessible only on our market days. I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve slacked off since I’ve been back from Christmas, and it’s been hard motivating myself to do much since I’m getting so close to the end of my service. This is partly due to my boyfriend and partly due to the fact that I have large choices looming in front of me.

I was accepted into all the grad programs I applied to, and now am faced with a fantastic, albeit stressful, decision. I’m trying to get the most complete picture I can of all the programs, but I find it endlessly frustrating that I can’t pick up the phone and call the admissions offices or hop in the car and see the campuses. Thank goodness for Dad, my personal assistant in the States who has been making endless phone calls for me and for Frankie, who has been listening to me talk in circles, weighing the pros and cons of each program over and over again. On top of this decision, the Peace Corps has started sending us information about our Close of Service conference and what it’s like to be a returned Peace Corps volunteer in the States. People from my training group will be closing service as early as the end of May, and it’s staggering to think about how little time I have left.

So, that’s the frame of mind I’ve been in lately. In terms of Africa-y things, Vogan is good. The center is completely finished and we should be moving the furniture into the building in the next two weeks or so. We had a loooooooooong hold up during January and February due to our carpenter continuously hurting himself at other sites, but everything seems to be under control now. I’m in the process of filling out the final report, and if I see that there is interest from all of you back home who donated, I will be happy to post the final draft online. This past weekend, Frankie and I went to Accra for a couple days, which was really nice. It was fun to see Frankie’s reaction to things like the mall, overpasses, lanes on the road…all of the developed stuff that Togo doesn’t have. He hadn’t been out of Togo since he arrived in June, so he was very excited. We saw some of the historical stuff that I hadn’t seen on my past visits, so that was interesting. We also took in a movie at the new Cineplex, which, although not as educational, was great.

Well. I hope this entry serves to enlighten you all as to why I’ve been MIA lately, although I’m sure most of you already knew. I’m truly happy here as I reach the end of my service. My life seems to be falling into place and falling apart all at once, but I guess that’s the nature of closing service. I’ll write more as I see where the pieces end up.

Back In The Saddle

2009-02-09T04:27:00.001-05:00

It has been too long, I know! The truth is, there really hasn’t been that much going on since I got back from the States.

Seeing my family for Christmas was such a gift. Sarah, Kate and my dad met me at the airport, where they heard Azi, my 3-legged cat, before they saw me. I brought him home for a former volunteer and he actually made me miss my flight from Paris. The trip was a total nightmare, but obviously worth it. On the 23^rd, everyone descended on the house, including my sister and her fiancé, my aunt and 2 cousins, my grandparents and my best friend Deborah, who had the important responsibility of “bringing Hanukkah” with her. Christmas day brought the remaining cousins, aunts and uncles, rounding dinner out to 19 people. It was fantastic to see everyone, but I must admit I was pretty overwhelmed for the whole trip. Not to mention, I was FREEZING! The weather was in the 40s almost the whole time but I was uncontrollably cold the whole time. How will I ever readjust to New England winters??!

I got back to Togo on New Year’s Day and really didn’t experience any culture shock. The US really strikes me as stranger than Togo these days. What was extremely difficult was going back to being alone. Anna left on New Year’s to go home for a month, so I came back and found myself relatively lost without her. Luckily, in her absence I made some amazing new friendships with other volunteers, who lifted me up and helped me get through each day until I felt better. I worry about the day I get home and no longer have support from other PCVs. I have been reminded lately that as supportive as all my family and friends are, volunteers understand each other in ways that can’t be equaled. They are the only people who understand the loneliness, the frustration, the moments of clarity of purpose. This past month has reminded me what a unique bond we all share.

On the work front, the center is almost completely done! The painting is finished and the electricity installed. Now we are waiting on the bars for the doors and windows, and once those are installed, we should be ready to move in the furniture and open the doors. I’m really excited to see it all come together, and also have a few months to help make sure everything is running smoothly. My counterpart Michel and I have also started a weekly girls’ group at a local middle school, incorporating French spelling games with small lectures on self-confidence, risky behavior, HIV/AIDS prevention, etc. So far we’ve gotten a lukewarm reception, but hopefully as we gain their trust they’ll start engaging and asking more questions.

It is completely staggering to think that there are only 6 months left of my service. When I talk about work now, suddenly it’s necessary to plan and make sure things can be finished before I leave. Although 6 months is still a big chunk of time, I really feel like I’m on the home stretch, and after so many months of counting down, suddenly that seems scary to me. As for grad schools, I have been accepted to the Fletcher School at Tufts University and am still waiting to hear from American and George Washington. Their decisions should come down sometime in March, at which point I’ll also find out what sort of financial aid package Tufts can offer me. Therefore I feel a little in limbo. I don’t know what I’ll do for sure next year yet, and I can’t make any decisions until March. I like to be able to look ahead, so waiting is a difficult thing for me to do. Fingers crossed!

At the end of this month I’m headed up to Burkina Faso for its film festival in Ouagadougou with my friend Susan. I haven’t been up that far north yet, so I’m sure it will prove to be an adventure. And I hear Ouaga has bowling! Look for another blog post about it next month!

I'll Be Home For Christmas

2008-12-22T13:27:00.005-05:00

I'm safely home! I arrived at JFK after a nightmare of a trip with Air France. After missing my flight in Paris, they lost my bag and it took 3 days to track it down. But I'm here now. I wanted to let everyone know, now that I have the time and the internet, that the youth center is going really well. The roof has been replaced and we have the dividing wall almost finished. We've ordered the doors and windows and those should be delivered while I'm here. Here are a few new pictures for all of you. Thanks for your continued support...we hope to inaugurate the building in February!

On another note, I have been accepted to the Fletcher School of Tufts University for their master's program. I am still waiting on American and George Washington Universities, but it's nice to know that I WILL be going to grad school in '09! I will be home until the 31st, so if you would like to call I can be reached at 207-838-4020.
Happy holidays to everyone!

Giving Thanks

2008-11-27T05:49:00.000-05:00

People have been asking why I haven’t posted a blog lately, and the truth is I just haven’t been very inspired. But as I was cooking my plain pasta up for dinner tonight (and drinking wine, I’ll admit), I started thinking about Thanksgiving tomorrow. I began fantasizing about the amazing meal we’re going to have at the PC country director’s house, by far the best I get in Togo. I also began thinking about the graces we used to say around our family table, when we shared what we were thankful for. Obviously, in a crowd of 50 volunteers we don’t do this. So instead, I thought my blog would be a fitting place to express what I’m thankful for on this Thanksgiving.

First and foremost, I’m thankful for my family. I have parents who not only support me in my various wanderings, but can relate to me as I take a more winding route to figure out what my calling is in life. When I decided to uproot myself, move halfway across the world, make 8 dollars a day and put off grad school, they not only supported me, they were enthusiastic. I’m thankful for a sister who tries to understand me even though we could not be more different, a sister with whom I can have entire conversations in movie and SNL quotes, a sister who reminds me that the simple things in life matter most: family, friends, home. I am thankful for the rest of my family, my (amazingly generous) grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. I am so fortunate to be as close to them as I am, and am SO VERY thankful that I am able to be with them this Christmas. I am thankful for my friends, who have, over and over, listened to me ramble on about the mundane details of Africa, when I know I’m talking too much but just can’t seem to keep myself quiet. Sarah, Deborah, Kate and all my friends who call, email, write, facebook, and give their support from afar. Your love means so much.

One of the reasons I’m still here is my fellow PCVs, and I am so thankful for them. Ashley and Anna never fail to respond to my texts when I’m worrying about my cats, my health or my sanity. They remind me that I’m not alone on this strange, fascinating, frustrating, amazing journey. I’m thankful for my Togolese families, plural. My host mother in Agou who somehow remembered and found the money to call me on my birthday. Mawussi, Amelavi, Didi and Gloria, who challenge and uplift me every day. I’m thankful for Michel, an amazing man and fantastic colleague, who shows me what motivation is.

Living here has made me thankful for the simpler things in life. I must say, I am thankful for electricity. For running water. For fans. For the fact that cockroaches seem to be afraid of my house now. For flushing toilets. For my cats, who worry me to death but provide me comfort and companionship. For Wheat Thins. Oatmeal Crème Pies. Cheese.

It’s easy to wallow in the negative here in Togo, as my last blog clearly shows. But I try to remind myself that although I sometimes feel as if I’m exiled in a foreign land, I have much to be thankful for.

Happy Thanksgiving!

October Blues

2008-10-28T11:16:00.005-05:00

As the weather at home grows chillier and it becomes brutally hot here in Togo, I find myself in a slump. As early as a week ago, I was feeling pretty good about life in general. Anna (a neighboring volunteer) and I held a great training of trainers here in Vogan. A local Christian women’s association asked us to train a few of their women in HIV/AIDS and how to teach it. So for the past month or so, Anna and I have been planning that program, and the actual training went really well. The association picked women who had a good grasp of French, and hopefully they will take what they’ve learned back to their villages and share it in local language with other women. The schedule was packed full of sessions about the immune system, HIV and the vulnerability of women, teaching methods and what works best when teaching about HIV/AIDS, transmission, prevention, and a quick lesson on nutrition. We were all exhausted by the end of it, but I think it went really well. It was the first time I’ve run full sessions by myself, and I was glad I overcame my fears about speaking French in public, because now I feel like there is more I can do in Vogan. I’ve seen that language is no longer a barrier to my work. (Go to the "My Pictures" link on the right and see "Vogan Training")

One of the interesting things about the Peace Corps is the mood of a PCV changes on a regular basis. Just when I thought I was feeling settled, busy, dare I say it? happy, an inexplicable sadness and fatigue overcame me in this last week. I’m always amazed how homesickness can punch me right in the gut. Since I live alone (except for my two cats, which you all have heard way too much about) I have a lot of time to analyze my feelings, probably more than is healthy. I’ve started confronting them from an almost objective position, finding them fascinating. I doubt a time in my life will come again where I am as volatile as I am here. Reading back over my diary as I did the other day, I sound like I should probably be on some sort of medication. This experience is emotionally, physically, mentally draining for all of us, even when we don’t consciously feel it. Talking to my mother on the phone the other night, I came to a sad realization. I am 26 years old and have spent the last year counting down the months of my life, and will continue to do so for the next eight. I’m happy I’m doing this, and will never regret it, but it strikes me as sad that by the time I return, I will have been waiting for the last 2 years of my life to just be over. I long to be in a place in my life where I’m not doing that. For now, I am sad and unmotivated, feeling like the eight months ahead of me are an eternity. Next week, who knows? Perhaps I’ll feel, as I did two weeks ago, that I’m on the home stretch. Such is the emotional state of a PCV!
Part of my doldrums is due to work slowing down a bit. Our training is over. There’s nothing active for me to be doing for the center at the moment (see the latest pictures in "My Pictures, Center"), since they’re digging the well (by hand, check out the photo) and we need to find water before proceeding. Our Karren Waid scholarship program is still an organizational nightmare, but at least a majority of the girls have their money for the school year. So the past three days have included me wandering aimlessly through my house, finishing two books, and wandering into the kitchen to look for food that is never going to magically appear. I’m trying to look forward to a fun November, with Thanksgiving, my birthday, and a little travel thrown in. But when I let myself think about the crisp, cold days of autumn in New England, my heart hurts. As I hear about all of you starting to freeze as the winter rolls in, I’m sure I’ll start feeling a little better…for all I complain, I don’t miss Boston winters!

Developing Country Road Warrior

2008-09-25T06:52:00.003-05:00

When deciding what to write about for my next blog, I realized that I have very few entries that describe particular parts of life here in detail. I recently traveled up to Kara (in the North of the country) so I decided this was as good a time as any to write a blog about travel here in

Togo

. As volunteers, we travel in bush taxis. Bush taxis come in two different sizes, but are inevitably in terrible condition and usually from the 1980s, with a cracked windshield and windows that may or may not roll up.

First, you have your run-of-the-mill 5 place hatchback. Legally, the driver is allowed to have 7 people in the car; himself, two people in the passenger seat, and four in the back. Children don’t count, and neither does livestock. More than once, I have found myself in the back with 4 adults, a baby, and a child, and live chickens. The trunk is regularly loaded down with huge sacks of yams, corn, fish or live goats. If the car is not going by a toll, the capacity regulations are tossed out the window. Two people can sit in the driver’s seat and it IS possible to fit five people in the back and a couple in the trunk.

Now, that’s the cushy ride. For longer trips, there are 15 place vans. These regularly take 18, 19 or 20 people, and things get piled on top (see picture) to the point when one becomes convinced that the car is going to tip over of its own accord. I have been in a 15 place van that was completely gutted and the seats replaced with wooden benches. They would fill up one bench, push it forward and then fill up the next. People rode on the top and hanging out the sliding door. I counted 25 people in the car that day. Add some bad hip-hop music on static-filled speakers, the bleating of the goats on the roof, 90 degrees of heat, lots of dust, and voila! you have a bush taxi journey.

There are no set timetables for travel here. For instance, when I decide it’s time to go back to Vogan from Lomé, I go to the station. Either I get lucky and there’s a 5 placer waiting, or I find myself the only person waiting for a 15 placer to fill up. I have it very easy, however, compared to my fellow volunteers. Many live in villages only accessible by motorcycle taxi or they wait an average of 3 hours for a car to fill up. People also wait on the side of the road, so the cars are constantly stopping to drop people off or pick people up. When I was back in the US, I almost missed both a train and a flight because I had forgotten that things actually left at the time indicated.

Lately travel here has been far worse than usual. There is one main, paved road that runs all the way from Lome, on the coast, to Dapaong, the northernmost city in Togo. The Route Nationale is the only direct way to travel up country. While I was away in the States, two major bridges on the Route crumbled away, the result of flooding, age and shoddy workmanship. All traffic throughout the country was rerouted through the West of the country, adding an average of 4 hours onto any particular trip. The alternate route was not built to accommodate big trucks, so its condition became increasingly terrible, until it was impassable as well. They have now fixed one of the bridges, and at the next place there is a small train trestle that they have started using as an alternative. As you can see from the picture below, they haven’t even begun the repairs on the big bridge. I especially enjoy the ironic “bon voyage” sign right before the sheer drop.

I can still remember my first bush taxi ride during my post visit in the middle of training. David and I found ourselves in a 5 placer with a terrible smelling SOMETHING in a basket covered with flies, 4 women with babies and two goats in the back. There was a song in terrible small-small English on the radio, and the goats kept bleating in perfect time with the lyrics. I began to giggle and couldn’t stop, laughing so hard that I was crying. What else can you do in those types of situations? I learned early on to find the amusement in them, and I’ve become much more flexible and patient because of it. Now, I just sit back, put in my earbuds, and resign myself to the fact that I’ll get there eventually, with or without chicken poop on my lap.

More Pictures of the Project Site

2008-09-21T15:37:00.003-05:00

Project Update!

2008-09-19T10:06:00.005-05:00

Hello everyone! There has been a lot of progress with the center since I returned in August. We ran into a big roadblock right at the very beginning; the landlady of the building we were planning on buying doubled the price on us. The recession and rising food prices have both hit Togo hard, and she was complaining that everything was more expensive now (which is true). We had to abandon the original site and a fairly stressful search for a new building commenced. The hardest thing about this process is that I couldn’t be involved. If the broker or any of the sellers had gotten wind that a “Yovo” was behind the project, they would have doubled or tripled their asking prices, so I had to stay completely out of sight.

The good news is, we found a building! For the same price, we found a site very close to the high school that is about 3 times bigger than the original building. It has a good yard for large trainings and information sessions, four rooms and a latrine. Repairs will include replacing the windows, doors and parts of the roof, and building a new wall to separate us from the neighbors. Overall, I think this space will work even better than the original site. We have purchased the building and repairs are slated to begin in about two weeks. I’ll continue to post more as the repairs start. I have posted two pictures of the building so that you can get an idea of what it looks like.

Again, we couldn’t have done this without you. Thank you for all your donations and I’ll keep you updated!

Back to life, back to reality...

2008-08-20T07:19:00.005-05:00

(Written August 13)

It is my first day back in village without my parents, and it seems strange to be alone again for the first time in 6 weeks. My trip home was wonderful. I managed to see a lot of people and although it was a whirlwind, I’m glad that I traveled as much as I did. At the moment when the wheels of my plane touched down at JFK, I felt an enormous sense of relief. I felt as if the longest, hardest year of my life was finally over. I know the next year will hold a lot of challenges, but when I hugged my family, it was if the weight of all those months of loneliness were lifted off of me. I arrived on July 4^th and my parents, my sister, my dear friend Deborah and myself all headed directly home for a cookout. Although I fell asleep well before the fireworks, I couldn’t have asked for a better independence day.

My travels took me to Philly, our lake house in Wolfeboro, NH, Boston, Concord for Kate’s wedding (a fantastic time!), back to Wolfeboro, and then back to Philly. Along the way I managed to see all 4 of my grandparents, three of my aunts, three of my cousins, Julia’s fiancé, all of my best friends in Boston and my fabulous Mt. Holyoke women. Before leaving for the States, I was extremely nervous that I would no longer be able to relate to my friends. I thought perhaps I had changed, that maybe my social skills had atrophied from lack of use. Although I did humiliate myself on more than one occasion, I was overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and support I felt from everyone back home. They graciously let me ramble about my experiences and put up with my French- and Ewe-smattered English.

The culture shock was not nearly as pronounced as I thought it was going to be. Although I found it very strange to be surrounded by a majority of white people and I found myself utterly overwhelmed by the number of chewing gum choices, I acclimated back to hot showers and American food pretty quickly. It is not until you are forced to go without for an extended period of time that you can truly see the excesses in American culture. I was amazed at the sheer quantity of things. I would exclaim “that’s a SMALL?!” every time I ordered something, and Julia would admonish me for seeming to be angry at the cashier. Every time I sat with a menu in front of me, I would become stressed out because I didn’t know how to handle so many choices. For someone who has eaten the same exact thing every day for the last year, choosing between four cheese ravioli and shrimp pesto pasta is a huge decision. However, I was pleased to realize that living in Africa has instilled in me an appreciation for these things that I never had before. Although these things will one day again seem commonplace for me, I will never again take them for granted.

Boarding my plane for Ghana, I felt a sense of dread. I had a moment of serious hesitation. Then I sat down in my seat, and the gentleman next to me instantly turned to introduce himself. The back six rows of the plane were quickly chattering and laughing in local language. I felt like I was back in my element, and I relaxed and settled into my seat. I didn’t really realize that I was uncomfortable with certain aspects of America until I was back in Africa. I have learned how to comport myself in a certain way to get by here, to fit into the culture and to belong in a society where I am inherently different. In ways it has made me shyer, in others it has made me much more aggressive. This behavior was a little difficult to reconcile with being in the States. As I struck up a conversation in English, French and Ewe with the man next to me, I felt the languages come tumbling out of me, as if I had been holding back a flood for the last 3 weeks. I missed the openness of West Africa, the willingness to engage with people. I thought I was going to be really sad to come back, but in actuality, I was relieved.

My parents arrived the next night in Lomé and spent two weeks with me here. Their visit was everything I could have asked for, barring some mysterious stomach ailment that felled both my mom and me for a few days. My parents were flexible, adventurous, and open to pretty much everything, which made my role as a tour guide fun and interesting. My dad, who had never been outside the Western world, seemed to look at Togo with a wonder that was really interesting to watch. My parents were able to ask the difficult questions (i.e. about politics, religion) that I as a Peace Corps volunteer usually avoid. Through translating for them, I learned a lot from the local population about their views on their government and their quality of life that I think will help me as I move forward in my work. My parents kept their humor through everything, which is invaluable when traveling around Togo. Even when we found ourselves in a hotel directly adjoining a nightclub whose music started pounding at 10pm, they laughed it off. We spent a lot of time in my town, and then traveled to my training village in Agou to visit my host mother. We also went out to my best friend Anna’s village of Sevegan, where they were able to experience a more typical Togolese village.

It was amazing for me to finally be able to introduce my parents to all the people who have been integral parts of my life here. It was also fantastic to see how excited my Togolese friends were to meet my parents. My host mom was so excited she literally picked me up off the ground and swung me around. Mawussi, my host mom in Vogan, came bolting out the door to hug all of us when we drove up to the house. For a culture that frowns on physical contact, I was amazed at the outpouring of affection.

Putting my parents on a plane back home was difficult and although I was somewhat envious, I was glad I wasn’t going with them. More than anything this trip has shown me that I’m not ready for my time here to be over. I love America, I miss my friends and family, but my work here is just beginning. I am more than halfway finished with my service, which is hard to believe. But looking forward to the next 11 months, I feel like it’s going to fly by. I find myself suddenly busy; my center project is beginning, I’m teaching computer classes and I’m in charge of the Peace Corps’ national girls’ scholarship program. Soon I’ll be working on grad school applications. I’m hitting the ground running this time around, and it makes the challenges completely different. They are welcome challenges, however, as I have been struggling for a year to find a purpose to my time here. It seems as if, moving forward, I am slowly starting to shape that purpose.

A Good Day

2008-07-02T11:20:00.002-05:00

One day until America, and I find out that my Peace Corps Partnership Project is fully funded! This means upon my return to Togo, I will get to start building the youth center I've been advocating so hard for. Thank you SO much to everyone who promoted and gave to my project. I truly couldn't have done it without you. I'll be back updating my blog in August after my parents' visit. Happy Independence Day!

America Here I Come!

2008-06-26T03:34:00.003-05:00

One week from today, I am boarding a plane for the good old US of A! 3 weeks of food, air conditioning, non-bush taxi travel, spring mattresses....it's the little things in life. Just wanted to let you all know that my "My Pictures" link now goes to my picasa page, where I have posted a good amount of pictures. I'll be posting more, along with videos, when I'm home and have reliable internet. Can't wait to see you all!

A Difficult Day

2008-05-31T07:43:00.003-05:00

May 26
Many days are difficult in Togo, for various reasons. Slowly, you become accustomed to the emotional rollercoaster you’re riding, and you realize you can pull through. Yesterday was a day that challenged me more than any has in a long time. Yesterday one of my kittens, Molu, died. Molu was a great cat. She would beg on her hind legs for just about anything, reminding one of a meerkat. She loved to sleep on my lap and be snuggled. About 48 hours before her death, I had noticed she wasn’t eating, but figured it would pass. I tend to be very nervous about my cats, so I figured this time I wouldn’t get worried too early. By the next morning, she was crying and in pain and by noon she had died.
I know we all have pets and they die, and it’s sad, but in Togo it’s somewhat compounded. For me, the hardest part was feeling helpless. We think she probably had a bladder infection, something that is easily treatable. However, we live in Togo. There are no vets in my village and even in Lomé you’re hard-pressed to find any vet that will work on a Sunday. We didn’t have the drugs to put her to sleep, so I just had to watch as she got worse and worse. In a crisis, I, like many Americans, like to be in control. Even if a vet could have done nothing, at least by taking her I would have been taking control of the situation. In many instances, this is impossible to do in Togo. One has to simply accept what’s happening. “Ca va aller”, I hear over and over again. It will pass. But as an American I’m still not accustomed to just letting things pass. I want to be active, I want to be in control. I was deeply sad watching Molu die, but I was also surprised at my level of anger and frustration towards the country as a whole, its inefficiency, my helplessness.
Molu’s death came at an already difficult time for me. I haven’t written in awhile, mostly because very little has been going on. Vogan has entered the rainy season, so going to the villages to give lectures is nearly impossible. The roads are impassable and people have to work to plant their fields. Students are studying for exams, so school directors have no time or interest in extra-curriculars. I’m sitting around my house a lot feeling relatively useless, counting down the impossibly slow-moving days until I come home in July. April crawled by, and the end of May is proving no quicker. I look towards June with a certain dread; no work, no travel planned, no meetings, nothing. Just me sitting around waiting to go home. My project, thanks to a few extremely generous donations, is coming along, but not very quickly. My limited access to internet makes it difficult to do as much work and promotion for it as I would like, which is another frustration.
On the plus side, my little sister Julia graduated from college yesterday! We add another Mount Holyoke alumna to the family, making it a whopping 5. It was really difficult to hear that my whole family was together at the college, participating in traditions I should have been in and getting to support Julia. Missing big events in the States always makes me take a step back and realize the gravity of the choice I made coming to Togo. I will always believe it was the right choice, but missing the big things always gives me pause. But regardless of all that, Jules worked really hard and I’m really proud of her. A new job and a marriage await her in the coming year, and she deserves all of it.
I hope this post hasn’t depressed any of you too thoroughly; no matter what is going on here, I’m glad I’m here. I look back on yesterday and remember how my Togolese friends rallied around me, sympathizing with the crazy yovo who cries over a dead cat. They buried her for me and my kids put flowers on her grave. My neighbor Anna came in from village to be with me and my other two cats have been extremely affectionate, sensing the loss and seeking comfort. Another difficult day, but in Togo I’ve learned how to cry, pick myself up, brush off the dirt, and keep going.

Peace Corps Partnership!

2008-04-29T11:05:00.002-05:00

Hello all! My Peace Corps Partnership for the youth center in Vogan is up and running! You can read more about the project at voiceoftheyouthvogan.blogspot.com, or donate directly at https://www.peacecorps.gov/index.cfm?shell=resources.donors.contribute.projDetail&projdesc=693-308

I'm really excited and hope you can all help spread the word to your friends and family. On another note, I am currently in Ghana, and it truly is the land of milk and honey. I went to an actual mall, ate nachos and fajitas, and bought froot loops. There are lines on the roads here and everything! I took my GREs this morning and I'm happy to say that it looks like I am smart enough for grad school after all (I know some of you were wondering). I'll write more on my adventures in Ghana soon!

Shameless Plug for My Project (Yay!)

2008-03-27T06:56:00.005-05:00

I know, I know, I’m sorry. I’m here. My excuse is that I’ve actually been productive lately!
I have registered for the GREs (April 29th) and have begun studying in earnest. Since I’m so bad at math it’s actually taking up a lot of my time at post. Getting myself motivated to study was hard at first but as the time looms near, I’m embracing my geeky side and spending hours making vocabulary flashcards and looking up words in every magazine, book and newspaper I read. David (my sitemate) is taking them the same day in Ghana, so we’ve been quizzing each other on random vocabulary words (perfidious is my current favorite) and keeping each other motivated. We get three paid days off to go over and take the test, so we plan on going to the mall (!!) and the beach…and somewhere in there hopefully take the test as well. I’ve heard Accra’s streets are paved with gold. I can’t wait to see.

This past week I went up to the Peace Corps training center for the yearly All Volunteer conference as well as my in service training. AllVol is a two day event that is mostly made up of drinking and spending money on auction items such as peanut M&Ms ($25), dinner with the director ($140), a shirt with an eagle eating a cobra on it ($200), etc. Amazing what our $8/day goes towards. I bought overpriced salsa lessons from my friend Jesse, which seemed like a really good idea after a few Sex on the Beaches and beers. There was a talent show as well that included choreographed dances, a back flip off a table, and one girl who can audibly flap her butt cheeks together. Togo PCVs are a classy bunch. Overall it was really fun, although when I first got there I realized I was going through culture shock, since it’s been so long since I’ve been around 100 Americans. After two nights with an average of 3 hours’ sleep, training for the next 4 days was rough, but somehow I made it through. The training was motivating, which is always welcome.

I have also been putting a lot of effort into a Peace Corps Partnership proposal that will hopefully go up on the web in the next couple of weeks. My Togolese counterpart, Michel, is an amazing youth educator and advisor. For the past few years he has worked with an NGO called CASIEJ and has basically been paying out of pocket to continue lecturing kids on issues such as HIV/AIDS transmission, risky behavior, life skills and other health topics. He’s the most motivated individual I’ve ever met. Since the beginning of my service he has expressed an interest in starting his own NGO and opening a proper youth center for the youth of Vogan. I put my foot down at the beginning, since building a center would simply be too expensive. However, recently his own landlord came to him with an interest in selling the house that Michel currently rents. He and his wife have decided that if we can come up with the money to buy the building, they will move and we can use the building for a youth center.

Peace Corps Partnership isn’t a grant program; rather it’s a way for people from the US to be able to donate to a specific project as a tax-deductible charitable donation. 100% of the funds go directly to the project. I am finishing the budget now and it seems that the total cost of the project will be about $10,000. However, the community is coming up with 30% of the cost, so I will be appealing to Americans (like YOU!) for about $7,000. I’m extremely excited about this project, although I realize the cost is huge. It would be absolutely amazing to be able to do this for my village. The area is plagued by child trafficking, prostitution, a low rate of girls continuing school, HIV/AIDS, malaria, tuberculosis, illiteracy, and malnutrition. We’re hoping that a youth center will give us the opportunity to offer classes in literacy, computer skills, income-generating activities and life skills that will give kids the tools to make good decisions. I’m going to be making a facebook group once the project is up on the web, and hopefully through word of mouth (start talking!) and the internet I’ll be able to raise the funds. This project is truly my baby here in country.

The house we're hoping to buy and renovate

Regardless of what happens, it’s been transformative having something useful to do here. For so long I felt like I was relatively useless, since my counterpart is so capable of doing everything much better than I can, and in local language to boot. This project has given me something tangible to work on that will hopefully make a difference. Between the proposal and studying, my days are full and productive for the first time since I’ve been in country. Michel and I also recently received a small grant from Friends of Togo to tour the countryside, giving lectures on health issues to students and apprentices in neighboring villages. I usually just go along for the ride, since Michel is so great with the kids, but I’m getting to see a lot of the surrounding area, and it really is breathtaking. It’s so easy here to look around and just see the trash, the naked children, the malnutrition and the ramshackle houses. Riding to these villages reminds me to stop and look around at what a beautiful country I live in. Since the rains have started again, everything has become green and lush again, which is a beautiful contrast to the red soil of Africa.

Pictures!

2008-02-19T08:36:00.003-05:00

I got Picasa on my computer, which is much much better than Flickr. I have lots going up so feel free to look. I'll change the link on the side of my blog, but for now the link is:
http://picasaweb.google.com/bfriedrichs

Yay!

Yes, I'm Alive

2008-02-19T04:22:00.000-05:00

And I have a computer! Sarah came to visit and brought me a laptop generously donated from a family friend. Now I can write my blogs sitting in the comfort of my sweltering house. Hot season has descended here with a vengeance. The season before hot season was marked by the Harmattan winds; winds sweeping down from the Sahara, covering everything in a thick layer of dust and making it hazardous to your health to travel in bush taxis with open windows. However, the tradeoff was that the days were hot, but the nights were downright chilly (which, for me, means about 60 degrees). I would wake up wearing every layer I had and hang out in pajama pants and a fleece. One morning while Sarah and I were in Ouidah, Benin, we woke up and the Harmattan was just over. No warning, no memo. I felt a little betrayed. It left without saying goodbye and left in its place oppressive humidity and stifling heat.

However. The weather is not the most interesting thing going on in my life so I guess I should move on to better topics. I’m sorry to all who have been wondering if I’m still alive: I am. January was busy with everything except work. I spent New Year’s Eve in Lome with my friend Aimee, and then headed back to Vogan for New Year’s Day. New Year’s here is a huge deal, much bigger than Christmas. Spirits and parties were somewhat dampened, however, when we were hit with an apocalyptic rainstorm at about 10 in the morning that lasted a solid 2 hours. My compound was so flooded that I had to wade through it in the middle of the storm and bring my neighbor’s puppy upstairs, fearing that he could actually drown. The party I was going to go to got relocated to my terrace, since I’m the only person we know who has a second story. It was subdued and with what I’ve now started to refer to as my normal crowd.

I’m not really sure where the middle weeks of January went. I finally traveled up country to Notse to visit Ashley and to hand off my dog to Jake, a fellow volunteer. I realized after I got a dog that I am a cat person. The kittens I had been caring for at the beginning of my service were miserable at the NGO where they were staying, and everyone kept telling me people were going to steal them and eat them. So I got rid of Mick and took back the kittens. 3 cats in my little apartment officially classifies me as a crazy cat lady. The 3rd week in January, I traveled to Pagala, in the Centrale region of Togo for a Peace Corps training. It was incredible how much more pronounced the Harmattan was up there; I attended morning meetings wrapped in my mohair blanket and pajama pants and then by noon we were all sweating. My nose, my eyes and my throat were all dry and scratchy and my hair was so dry I didn’t wash it once (I was also just kinda lazy and filthy the whole week). The training was really good, because it re-motivated me to get back to post and branch out from my counterpart and find more work. From training I went directly to Lome and picked up SARAH, who flew in to see me for 10 days.

The relief at seeing Sarah overwhelmed me and I got all teary in the airport. So much of my time here is spent with people who don’t really know me, like the Togolese I live with at post, or with volunteers who know the “Peace Corps” me, a version of myself I haven’t been able to completely reconcile with the “America” me. For the first time in 8 months, my best and oldest friend was with me and I was able to be me again. It was so good to have someone from home see first hand what I’m doing here, because no matter how many blogs I write and how many phone calls I get, there’s no way to describe it. I loved that by the 3rd day here, Sarah was ready to punch the kids singing the Yovo song and she had tasted adoway, my favorite Togolese street food. She pounded her own fufu (she wanted to cause she said it sounded dirty) and ate it like a champ, only getting disgusted by it after the fact when looking at pictures. We spent the first few days in Vogan, changing our plans over and over to accommodate both Sarah’s stomach and our hatred of spending time in bush taxis. We finally settled on a day trip to Togoville and then going to Ouidah, a town on the Benin coast where the Portuguese had a slave port and a fort.

After a stressful border crossing and visas bought for 20 bucks, we spent an expensive but really nice day on the beach in Ouidah. We then decided it was too expensive to stay there, so we walked the 4k into town the next afternoon. The path is the same one that was taken by the slaves as they were led out of Africa and onto the slave ships. Ouidah is also the voodoo capital of West Africa, so all along the road are statues to the voodoo kings and random fetish souvenir shops. It was definitely the most touristy spot I’ve been to here and it was a little surreal. The next day we went to the slave museum/voodoo museum/old Portuguese fort and the Temple of the Pythons, where we got to play with live pythons…to my delight and Sarah’s horror. We then caught a bush taxi back to Togo, and I actually got really excited to be going “home”. In Ouidah they don’t speak Ewe and it was strange to be somewhere where I didn’t understand ANYTHING in the local language. The sound of Ewe has become comforting to me now, and I know southern Togo pretty well, so it was really good to be back in my comfort zone. We then spent a couple nights in Lome by the pool at a couple yovo hotels, and I got to take my first hot shower since arriving in country. It was pretty incredible.

After Sarah left I fell into a “I-hate-Togo-this-is-stupid-I-want-to-go-home” mood for a few days. I hated that I didn’t have work and it was hard to watch Sarah get on a plane for America, while I was stuck here and had to go back and face village life. But I’m coming out of it now, and Michel, my counterpart, has been really receptive. I told him I could no longer wait around waiting for work to come to me. So he’s been helping me find things to do. I helped out at baby weighing at my local hospital this morning and I’m (hopefully) starting a health club at the local CEG (middle school). I have at least 1 thing to do each day this week which is a refreshing change. My new goals are as follows:

Register for the GREs
Go to Ghana and rock the GREs and then rock grad school applications
Start learning real French
Learn Ewe (it can’t be THAT hard to pick up a tribal language, right?!)

So, thus is my life right now. I hope this looooooong entry makes up for my absence. I’m now counting down the days till my parents get here for a visit and then I come home for 3 weeks for Kate’s wedding! Mark your calendars now….July 5 to July 29!

Happy Valentine’s Day!

"I Carried a Chicken"

2007-12-31T07:12:00.000-05:00

This line kept going through my head as I made my way back to my house after purchasing 3 chickens for our Christmas dinner. As I hauled my live chicken by its feet through a field, I kept repeating the line, in the manner of Baby in Dirty Dancing: "I carried a watermelon." There are infinitesimal moments that pass everyday, when I am simply living my life, I just happen to be doing it in a West African village. Then there are the times when I strike up a conversation in my Ewe-smattered French, or I squeeze in next to a goat in a bush taxi, or I find myself walking through a field holding a strangely resigned chicken by its feet. Sometimes Africa still feels like a dream. Granted, a dirty, smelly, colorful, difficult, enlightening, educational dream, but a dream nonetheless. I look around every once in awhile and think "how the HELL did I get here?!"

By the same token, I also realize how much I've adapted. Riding in a bush taxi to Lome the other day, I remembered writing in my journal my first day. Things like "I saw my first woman with a baby on her back!" or "ohmigod, that guy has a sewing machine on his head!" I've since realized all you really need to raise a baby is a pagne and you can carry anything on your head (or on a moto, for that matter). As I thought about this, I watched children pass by barefoot and naked, goats wandering the streets and women calling to each other as we drove by. I realized that these sorts of things make up those infinitesimal moments when I'm "just living" my life. They seem ordinary...when did that happen?

Enough of my ruminations. The reason I was buying chickens in the first place was because I hosted 13 volunteers and friends for Christmas. It has been a hard time for many of us, and I think being together is important. Our of sheer boredom I have turned into quite the Holly Hostess, a Martha Stewart on crack, you might say. When all you have in Togo is construction paper and time, it's amazing how many snowmen and snowflakes you can create. I gave up only when I got a blister from my scissors. You may think I'm kidding. I'm not. Christmas went really well. A few people showed up a day early to bake Christmas cookies and decorate the house. People really went all out and it was really nice. We had a big dinner Christmas Eve and then Christmas morning we all opened presents from our Secret Santas. Gifts ranged from a teeny-tiny Titanic tank top (incredible) to Jesus pagne. It was a hard day but we had a good time. Thank you to everyone who sent me packages, it was wonderful to get them and all your holiday wishes.

The day after Christmas, I went with Ashley and her three friends from the States to Anecho, where I held a monkey. I'm not going to lie, it was one of the cooler experiences I've ever had. Her name was Rosaline, and she was really sweet and loved the attention. Pictures below. Happy New Year everyone!

Jesus pagne

Teeny Tiny Titanic Tank Top

"Would you like to touch my monkey?"

My Birthday

2007-11-22T04:34:00.000-05:00

Thanks to everyone who sent birthday wishes! I truly had a great day here in Vogan. My neighbors prepared dinner for me and threw me a small party, and it was a good time. I'll write more about the day later, but here are some pictures. Happy Thanksgiving to all!

My dance partner, Mick

Mawusi loves Sodabe, the local moonshine

Preparing dinner

Georgette, my French tutor

My girls and me

Random Stuff...

2007-11-06T03:34:00.000-05:00

I've settled down at post and the day to day stuff has become more comfortable. A few interesting things have happened since my last post. I've also made my pictures smaller so I can upload more of them. These first few pictures were taken in Anecho, a town right near the Benin border on the coast, about an hour from Vogan. David and I went out with some friends from Vogan and ended up having lunch with 3 Togolese priests, who then gave us a walking tour of their village, which was really nice. We ended up having a really great day (and David got drunkity drunk on the local moonshine). I love getting out of Vogan and having these random experiences.

I've been going out with my Togolese counterpart, Michel, to some of the small villages around Vogan. We've been visiting middle schools and in general I've just been getting to know the area. I'm going to be starting a Life Skills class at one of the middle schools, so we're trying to pick which one. Below is a picture of a calabash tree. It looks like fruit on steroids. Each one is much bigger than my hand.

I've also met an artist, Joseph, who lives in Vogan. He sells some paintings to the US and I've really enjoyed going over to his compound and hanging out while he works. He lived in Nigeria and received most of his training there so he speaks English really well. Below is a painting he gave me (!) and he has more for sale (and I have more photos) if you are interested. Just let me know.

I recently got running water which is, by far, the most exciting thing that's happened to me. I can now take (cold) showers and most importantly, do the dishes with running water. Bucket baths have never bothered me, but washing dishes in buckets kinda sucks. My landlady's father died, so she held his funeral at our house. Now, funerals here in Togo tend to be a full-blown 2 day all night party. The funeral service is thrown in there as well, but huge speakers are rented and music plays all night while the body arrives at the house at about 4am. There's dancing and singing and cooking, and in this case, 6 bulls were slaughtered outside my front door. Below is one of them. He kept looking at me accusingly.

On the upside, I was invited to the funeral lunch, which was amazing. There were even grapes and watermelon, two things really hard to find in Togo. There was also a great performance of traditional Togolese dance.

No expense was spared, and my landlady has a LOT of money. I ended up talking and hanging out with her daughter, who just graduated from the Montgomery College in the States. It was great to be hanging out with Togolese people and speaking a weird mixture of Franglais and Ewe. We had a really good time. But I haven't had a good night's sleep in about a week, owing to the funeral, and this little guy below:

This is my new puppy, Mick. I inherited him from another volunteer, and he's just about the sweetest dog in the world. The kittens have gone to their rightful home (I was just taking care of them) so now it's just me, Mick, and Azi, my tripod cat. Mick sleeps all day and is extremely chill till I turn the lights out. Then he proceeds to bark at everything. So I REALLY REALLY need a good night's sleep. All of the region's volunteers are coming to my house for a party (to welcome our new volunteers to post) on Friday night, so I'm not going to get much rest. I think that's about it for now. I'm doing some quick shopping and banking here in Lome and then heading back to post. I've found now that I'm comfortable in Vogan, I don't really enjoy how expensive and crowded Lome is. I'm lucky enough to find pretty much everything I need at post, so the only real reason to come here is internet and the bank. I miss you all and thanks for all the continued letters, packages, emails, etc. They're really appreciated!

My next door neighbors. They brighten my day and make me laugh :)

Off and Running

2007-10-05T04:25:00.000-05:00

Orange Season in Vogan!

This week has been quite the rollercoaster, in a good way. Martha moved out, which was sad and surreal (I can't believe that will be me in 2 years!) However, I feel like I'm finally starting to get my feet under me. I was actually busy (aka had at least 1 thing to do each day) and I find that really helps me. A few interesting experiences:

Michel took me to his church service on Sunday. One might imagine, as I did, a service full of energetic music and vibrant colors. One would be wrong. Michel had mentioned that there would be a minister from Nigeria who would be preaching in English. Turns out my French isn't as good as I though. The minister from Nigeria was actually a TV with a VERY bad sound system and a man yelling Ewe over it with a microphone. In order for me to hear the English, the church members promptly kicked people out of the front row for me to sit. This was a nice gesture, but I couldn't understand a word. Then they decided it would be best to give me headphones. So there I was, the yovo in the front row, wearing headphones, a cord reaching over the laps of my Togolese neighbors. The service ended up being an hour and a half message from God (aka scripture study), another half hour "a pieds" (standing and swaying and praying) and then announcements (in Ewe) and a durge-like song from the choir. I was quite out of place and uncomfortable, but how many people can say they've been to a West African Pentacostal church service?

The day Martha left, I attended a festival with David and some Togolese friends. It was labeled "La prix d'independence" but David and I realized it was kind of like the Togolese Grammy Awards (music, not old women like my mom thought). There were groups set up all around the perimeter, dancing and drumming. I truly believe there's nothing more energizing in this world than West African drumming. My face hurt from smiling so much. I was then given a plate of food with very little that I could identify. However, I polished off the best chicken I've had in Togo. When I remarked about it, my friend informed me that it was not, in fact, chicken. There was then a loooooong awards ceremony under a brilliant African sun, but I had an adorable 4 year old boy napping on my lap, so who can complain??

Finally, I started with my young women's group. I was told in stage that drawing women out of their shells to talk about their problems would be difficult. Not the case with these women. Michel had to translate from the Ewe, so it was slow going, but I had a group with some dynamic women. They were open and honest about the prevelence of "patrons" (basically sugar daddies) and the necessity of having one, sometimes just to get money to eat. They discussed the dangers of HIV/AIDS and early pregnancy. It was a great conversation, although I admit the problems are daunting. And I'm realizing more everyday that many, if not all health problems are a direct result of poverty. So how can I help break the cycle?

Despite the looming questions, I am beginning to feel more at home as I make friends and find things to do. Vogan is alive with campainging as parliementary elections are to take place ina couple weeks. It's really interesting to see. As a security precaution, I will be staying in Vogan the next few weeks, so texting is the only way I'll hear from you. Feel free to do so....just remember the time difference! As it begins to get chilly for all of you, the cool rainy season is ending here. It's averaging 85 degrees inside with the fan on and raining only once a week!

Interesting Happenings in Vogan...

2007-09-22T09:54:00.000-05:00

A few days ago, a couple Togolese friends of mine stopped by the house. They asked if we had heard what happened in the fields of a village 10k from Vogan. It turns out that 6 people had been killed and their heads had been taken. After speaking to a few others, it seems that the heads fetch a good price on the gris-gris (sorcery) market throughout much of West Africa. A few days later, Martha and I got a call from our director, who reported that apparently it had happened throughout the Maritime region, with the people taking heads, necks, and draining blood. I must admit, the strangest text I have ever, or will ever receive came from David that night: "Just talked to Brownie. She told us to stay in Vogan because blood and body parts are in high demand." Huh. Interesting.

The incidents all happened far outside of the big towns, to people headed out to the fields, so I have NOTHING to worry about in Vogan. I am in Lome now to check out the new trainees, but I'm perfectly safe. I just don't go out after dark. The Togolese are scared, as is evident when the streets empty out early and market days like Tabligbo's (a neighboring town) are not as busy as they should be. Obviously gris-gris stuff like this is NOT something that most people take part in, although the presence of gris-gris and its power is something taken very seriously by many Togolese. This is not a normal occurrence and many believe it was a foreigner. All I know is it has caused for a dramatic week in village, and I'll be happy when things return to normal and I can stop worrying for my Togolese friends.

In other news...Martha has bought 2 kittens for our homologue as a going away gift. We have saved them from certain death after buying them from the Vogan market, and they are the most adorable morsels ever.

Each fits perfectly into my palm and just watching them is endlessly entertaining.

Village continues to be an adjustment and will be even more so when Martha leaves in a week. Then I'll truly be starting my independent service. Due to the awful flooding up North and throughout Africa, they have pushed back the start of school. Over 200,000 people in Northern Ghana alone have been displaced, and Togo was hit really hard as well. What this means for me is that it will be another month before I can really start my health club in the middle schools. I am hoping in the interim to start a young women's group, to talk about the issues that they face, make a couple friends, and get to know some more people in village.

Thank you to everyone who has been sending emails, letters and packages. I have good days and bad and sometimes the homesickness just creeps up out of the blue and hits me like a punch to the gut. But I'm hanging in there and slowly starting to build a life here. I'm inheriting a dog within the next month, Mick (as in Jagger). So that should help with the loneliness. I'm in Lome scoping out the newest batch of trainees...it's nice not to be the newbies anymore!

More new pictures!

2007-08-30T07:20:00.001-05:00

Two days at post and I was bored. So I came back to Lome and now there are new pictures on Flickr. Enjoy!

Swearing In

2007-08-26T07:50:00.000-05:00

I am writing this a few days after swearing in, because this is the first moment of peace I've gotten since I came to Lome. The volunteers know how to have fun and I am exhausted. Good thing I'll have 2 years at post to catch up on sleep.

Our swearing in ceremony (see new pictures!) was really nice. It was held at our PC director's house and a lot of host families, embassy staff and Togo TV were there. I have no been seen by fives of tens of people on national Togolese television! There was a speech by our Country Director, then one by our training manager, "Queen" Blandine, the most assertive, toughest Togolese woman I've met so far. We each had to give a short speech in whatever local language our village speaks, so I had to speak Ewe in front of everyone, which was actually kind of nervewracking, surprisingly enough (I wrote mine on my hand, see below). We took our oath, given by the ambassador, and then we were done. All in all, a pretty short and sweet ceremony. We all were wearing clothes made from pagne, the fabric that everyone buys here and gets tailored. There is very little "pret-a-porter" clothing here. So we look pretty fashionable and colorful, as you can see in the pictures. My complet (outfit) was given to me by my host Mama, who did a great job picking it out for me.

After swear in, we partied. And I mean partied. We headed to a popular yovo bar for a little while, then headed to a dance club where about 30 of us took over the dance floor. We met more people from the embassy (aka Marines) and I was amazed to realize they're not allowed to leave Lome. What a different experience from the PCVs. But I wouldn't mind giong to a few embassy parties....

Lome has been quite the culture shock for me. After 3 months in a tiny village, the Western conveniences of Lome really threw me for a loop. There are lots of expats living lives here with a lot of the same comforts of home. We even got a ride in some guy's Lexus yesterday...complete with ipod dock. We have running water at our hotel and real butter with our bread, which is utterly fantastic. The last time we stayed here was on our way from America, and I remember not really liking the food. Now I'm eating my face off at every opportunity. I had 3 full plates of macaroni and cheese the other night. I've lost 10 pounds in country, but I think I've gained at least 5 back in the last 4 days.

There are also supermarches here. I walked into one and my jaw dropped. I had to stop myself from buying a 9 dollar box of Special K (Kate, I thought of Kim, let her know!). I was so excited. After shopping in a bustling outdoor market made up solely of tomatoes, onions and dried fish for 3 months, seeing cheese was incredible. I bought a big block of cheddar and shamelessly gnawed on it as soon as I got out on the street.

Now it's our last day together as a stage. Tomorrow we all head to post. I'm not nervous, I think mostly because I love my house and I know David and Martha will be there. But I will miss the comforts of Lome and my friends from stage. It's amazing how quickly we adapt to our surroundings. I adapted well to Agou-Nyogbo when we were in training, and I fell right back into a more Western culture in Lome. I think Vogan will be a mix of the two. I am really looking forward to getting there and destressing. I feel like I could sleep for 3 days straight.

My Ewe speech

Ashley and me hitting the kegVogan, prefecture VO. Represent.
Look! There are BOYS in our stage!Partying it up

Stage

2007-08-11T13:08:00.000-05:00

As I sit down to write a blog post, I find it very difficult because I don't know where to begin. How can I possibly start to describe the differences in culture, environment, everyday life? I think this is, besides having spotty internet, the reason I haven't blogged much.
I am coming up on my last week of training before I swear in as a Peace Corps Volunteer. I have been here for 2 months. Sometimes it seems like it has flown by, other times it feels like an eternity. I think about the last time I took a hot shower (in DC) and it feels like a year ago. But I also remember looking at the training schedule and crying, thinking there was no way I could survive 11 weeks, let alone 2 years. But here I am. We lost two girls along the way, but the remaining 13 of us are pretty proud, as we should be. Training has been a whole lot of sitting and listening to lectures (sometimes interesting, usually not), living with a host family, eating unknown food, crapping our pants (not me, thankfully), being eaten by mosquitos (at one point, I had 62 bites below my knees. Take a moment to imagine that), learning French AND the local language, and living in close quarters with 12 other stressed, emotionally charged women. All in all, it's been a challenging 2 months. I will be extremely sad to say goodbye to my host family, especially my mom and my little brother, but I am excited to get to Vogan and begin my work.
What is my work? you ask. Fabulous question. I don't really know in what capacity I will be of use yet. I will be working with a small NGO called CASIEJ, an organization dedicated to educating youth about HIV/AIDS, tuberculosis, malaria and other diseases. Michel, my Togolese counterpart, seems motivated and interesting. He has worked with PCVs before (I am a replacement) and seems really excited to have me.
As you can see from my pictures, my house.is.amazing. I live on the 2nd floor (2 story houses are a rarity here) with a white-tiled terrace that's as big as the rest of my apartment put together. Vogan is a town of about 9,000 people. It has a huge market on Fridays but is small enough the rest of the time to be managable. David, a small enterprise development volunteer, will be placed there as well, so collaboration on projects (and movie nights!) is a possibility.
I have dealth with more homesickness here than I ever could have expected. In addition to wicked culture shock, it's hard to realize that, although I know I am loved and missed at home, I am on my own. I had to do the same in Italy, but it was not compounded with culture shock the way it is here. As a white person in West Africa, it is ALWAYS apparent that I am a foreigner. Things in the culture continue to surprise me every day, and we volunteers are grappling with all this without the constant reassurance of our support system, our safety nets. Which can be pretty scary. But then something will happen, like I'll notice the clouds rolling in over Mt Agou, or a singing, drumming, colorful funeral procession will march by. Then I'm reminded that even though sometimes I feel like I'm falling, I'm having quite the adventure.
So I guess that's training. Thanks so much to those of you that have sent letters. Although emails are deeply appreciated, mail day is by far the highlight of our weeks here. Keep it coming. I miss you all!

A Glimpse into my day

2007-07-30T09:05:00.000-05:00

(Written on July 8 but not posted until July 30)

I thought I'd give you some idea of what a day is like here in my village, although that will be changing soon when I am sworn in and begin working in Vogan.

Today is Sunday and I had a really good day. I slept in until 7(!), which is about two hours longer than normal. My rooster was kind and didn't start squawking until about 7:30. I rallied and took my bucket bath cold (after 6:30 in the morning my mom seems to boycott heating the water for me). It's been downright chilly here lately (like, in the 60's), which makes for pleasant sleeping but not so pleasant for bucket bathing.

I had Quaker Oats for breakfast. What's funny about the oatmeal is that they actually call it "Quaker Oats." However, in the back woods of African, the French has morphed "Quaker Oats" into sounding like "Cacaway." Since "Caca" means "poop" in French, it took me a little while to catch on the first time my mom asked me if I wanted any! So, I ate my Cacaway and then played out in the compound with Jonas, my little brother. (See Pictures)

I have other siblings beside Jonas (6 in total), but I have a harder time playing with the older kids. Once out of the toddler stage here, kids begin to work. They are fascinated by me, but their laughter and amusement doesn't come as naturally as it does to Jonas. He's still a baby (1 1/2) and therefore doesn't yet have the gravitas that the others seem to. It's also hard, since I don't speak Ewe and the kids who haven't started school don't know French. My little 7 year old sister Patricia helped me do my laundry today. She's so much better at it than I am! I felt bad that she was helping, but all I could say was "thank you" over and over again, because that's the extent of my Ewe. Jonas, however, lights up my day. When I come home from school he runs as fast as he can to give me a hug. I've taught him "dancer" in French and then we dance. He actually knows the word now, so when I say it he starts jumping around. He's been a savior to my mood many times.

So, back to my day. I brought out my sheets to be washed and I was completely helpless. I've gotten okay at washing clothes, although all four of my knuckles on one hand bleed every time. But I was at a loss on how to do my sheets, so my mom basically did them for me. Here's how washing goes:

Two buckets, one cleaning, one rinsing
Place clothes in first and cover with water
Scrub the crap out of each piece with a technique I've yet to figure out without making myself bleed.
Empty water, refill bucket, start all over
After second washing, repeat if desired. (The second washing is NOT optional)
Rinse by basically washing everything, just without soap
Empty water, rinse again
Ring the crap out of clothes
Slap and snap clothes and place on line
Remove one-half hour later when it starts to pour

This is why basically nothing I own fits anymore. What I wouldn't give for a dryer. Oh, and also I've lost a good 5 pounds or so, so that doesn't help.

I've been really adventurous about food (for me, anyway) and tried foufou for the first time today. I do NOT understand the appeal. Basically, one boils the yams until soft, then you just pound it in this huge mortar and pestle until it reaches the desired gooey, gummy consistency. I ate with my hands for the first time today (not my left), but mostly 'cause there's no other way to eat it. Luckily, my mom makes an awesome peanut sauce with tofu, so I was okay. I'll keep trying to like it, but I'm not making any promises.

I hope this gives you some insight into my daily life here. Please keep your cards and letters coming. Getting mail is very exciting!

Pictures!

2007-07-28T08:59:00.000-05:00

Pictures, pictures, finally pictures! Click on my link at right to access the few I've had time to upload. The internet in Togo is not the best, in case you haven't noticed. Spent the week at my site, Vogan, and as you will see, my house is amazing. I can't wait for the last 3 weeks of training to be over so I can head out to post. I love and miss you all!

2007-06-23T13:46:00.000-05:00

Im' sitting in an internet cafe in Kpalime, the closest big town to our village, and half our group is in tears cause we're all talking to home for the first time in a week. It has been pretty difficult, but on the upside I walk to my training in the morning and realize that Im going to lessons in a village in Africa, which is pretty damn cool. We're in the foothills of the largest mountain in Togo, Mt Agou, which makes for a pretty paradise-like area, if it werent for the malarial mosquitos, the latrine (read: a hole in the ground with a box on top), the huge spiders, the amoebas and the parasites...
My host family is really nice. I have a little buliding in the compound to myself. Families here are large and live in buildings surrounding a central courtyard. So my family lives around the courtyard. I have a mom, a dad, 4 siblings, and then another couple who have 2 kids. At any one time there are about 10 kids running around my compond chasing after me and yelling "yovo!" (which means white person) and waving at me. Sometimes they are the only things that make my day a little better. I'm learning french really quickly, which is good. I like the language and I'm actually learning a little Ewe as well, the local language.
My host family is nice and cooks good stuff that I can eat, and theres a light in my latrine, which is REALLY exciting because it means no cockroaches so far!!!! We have no cell reception and no internet in my village but today was our afternoon off so we all came to Kpalime (the largest close town) to get calls from home. We're all a mess now cause we talked to parents, etc. which is really hard when you're homesick. My village is small but I have electricity in my rooms (very exciting). Since we cant drink the water here,everything seems to revolve around getting water, filtering water, brushing teeth with filtered water, staying hydrated....Ive never thought about water so much in my life. Im exhausted partly because Im trying to stay healthy, partly cause Im physically tired, but mostly cause I'm emotionally and mentally exhausted. I have to speak french with my host family, and I'm learning phrases in the local language, Ewe, at the same time.

Here and safe!

2007-06-12T07:27:00.000-05:00

I'll write more as soon as I can!

15 Days Togo....(that never gets old)

2007-05-24T08:50:00.000-05:00

With 15 days and counting, I have officially ended my Goodbye Tour and am at home in Philly, waiting for two highly anticipated guests. I am learning how to put my tent together (I don't DO camping) and I stand back, amazed, at how much gear I have. I wanted to let you all know that the Peace Corps has informed us that we will be spending our 11 weeks of training in homestays in a village outside of Kpalimé (we're not supposed to say exactly where for security reasons. I feel so important). If you look at a map, Kpalimé is north of Lomé on the border with Ghana. Apparently it's in the "beautiful green and mountainous Plateau Region" of Togo. I will be attending training sessions in "Language, Cross Culture, Technical, Personal Health and Safety, and Bicycle Riding and Maintenance in various places (e.g. under a tree, in a school classroom or in one of your homes)." Bicycle riding under a tree. This is my job, how cool is that?

Who Says Saying Goodbye Can't Be Fun?

2007-04-29T10:46:00.000-05:00

Thanks to my dear friend Kate, I had a fabulous going away party last night. As you can see from the pictures, I think everyone had a great time. Thank you to everyone who came. It was really important to me to have everyone together, and I really had an amazing time. I love you all!

Gettin' To Be About That Time...

2007-04-25T15:50:00.000-05:00

A crappy week last week convinced me that I was ready to leave Boston. A great week this week has me torn in half. As the weather gets nicer, Boston comes alive. There's softball and Frisbee and whiffle ball in the park across from our apartment. My room is sunny. My cat is happy in the open window. I have a slight sunburn from lying out in the park with some great roommates. It's hard to imagine leaving it all behind. I'm in the middle of packing up my office since Friday is my last day at the Joslin. Saturday is my going away party, and the realization that I'm leaving has hit me like a Mac truck. Friday I'll say goodbye to coworkers who have become friends over the last two years. I know I've made the right decision. I am excited, nervous, scared, happy...but above all I know I'm doing the right thing, despite the moments when it's hard to breathe. Today it's a little harder to breathe.

Assignment

2007-04-01T10:49:00.000-05:00

I thought you all might like to know what I'm supposed to be doing in Togo. Below is my assignment as the PC describes it. I've heard from many PCV and RPCV (Returned Peace Corps Volunteers) that the original description doesn't necessarily match what you actually do. But this will give everyone a little more of an idea. This material is all property of the Peace Corps.
Program: Community Health Expansion and AIDS Prevention (CHAP)
Job Title: Heath and AIDS Prevention Extension Agent (imagine that)
Primary Duties:

Heath services management improvement
Community health promotion
Health education
Youth education on population issues and HIV/AIDS/STI prevention
Community development

Here's an idea about where I will probably be living:

Based in a village or small town. Villages general range from 500-3,000 people and are often only accessible by dirt road. There will most likely be a small clinic and perhaps a primary school

Cool, huh? There is a lot more information that goes into greater depth, so if you want to know more, just ask. I'm going to add some links for people who want to read more about Togo and/or the PC.

10 Weeks from Today

2007-03-30T10:04:00.000-05:00

I board my plane to Togo. I found someone to sublet my apartment, I handed in my letter of resignation. I guess this means I actually have to go! I will be moving out of my apartment and away from Boston in 5 weeks, and I leave work in 4. I see this as sort of a test entry since nothing too exciting is happening now, but I'm new to the blogging world and am stressing about how to compose this stuff. I need to start working on my witty observations about the world around me. More to come as I begin to pack and do all of that fancy stuff. I'm hoping to have a little get together in Boston the weekend of the 28th for my friends here. And the goodbyes begin...